How to Help Someone with Anxiety: 10 Do’s and Don’ts That Actually Make a Difference
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Introduction
Watching someone you care about struggle with anxiety can be painful—especially when you don’t know how to help. You might worry about saying the wrong thing, feel helpless, or wonder why “just calming down” doesn’t seem to work.
The truth is: supporting someone with anxiety takes patience, compassion, and understanding, not quick fixes.
In this guide, we’ll break down 10 do’s and don’ts that will help you support your loved one in ways that are truly helpful, based on science, psychology, and lived experience.
Why Support Matters in Anxiety Recovery
Anxiety can be incredibly isolating. When someone feels supported—not judged—they’re more likely to open up, seek help, and take healthy steps forward.
Just knowing someone gets it can be one of the most powerful tools in healing.
10 Do’s and Don’ts for Supporting Someone with Anxiety
✅ DO: Validate Their Feelings
Instead of minimizing their experience, say:
“That sounds really overwhelming. I’m here with you.”
Validation helps calm the nervous system and lets them know you’re a safe person.
❌ DON’T: Say “Just Relax” or “Stop Overthinking”
Statements like these may seem helpful, but they usually feel dismissive. Anxiety isn’t a choice—it’s a physiological and psychological condition.
✅ DO: Ask How You Can Help
Everyone experiences anxiety differently. Ask:
“Would it help if I just listened, or would you like advice?”
“What do you need right now?”
❌ DON’T: Take It Personally
Sometimes anxious people cancel plans, withdraw, or seem irritable. It’s not about you—it’s about what’s going on inside their body and mind.
✅ DO: Learn About Anxiety
Understanding how anxiety works—especially things like panic attacks, avoidance behaviors, or social anxiety—can help you offer informed support.
Start here:
❌ DON’T: Try to “Fix” Everything
Your job isn’t to fix them—it’s to be present with them. Sometimes just sitting together in silence is the best support you can give.
✅ DO: Encourage Professional Help (Gently)
If anxiety interferes with daily life, professional help like therapy, CBT, or medication may be necessary. Avoid ultimatums—offer encouragement instead:
“Would you ever want to talk to someone about this? I’d be happy to help you find someone.”
❌ DON’T: Push Them into Triggers
Well-meaning people sometimes say “just face your fear” or “come on, it’ll be fine.” But pushing someone into high-anxiety situations before they’re ready can make things worse.
✅ DO: Respect Their Coping Strategies
Some people journal. Some go for walks. Some need quiet. Support what works for them, even if it’s not what you would do.
❌ DON’T: Forget to Care for Yourself
Supporting someone with anxiety can be draining if you’re not also taking care of your own emotional needs. Set boundaries when needed, and remember—you can’t pour from an empty cup.
Internal & External Link Suggestions
Internal:
External:
Conclusion
When someone you care about is struggling with anxiety, your presence, patience, and empathy can be life-changing. You don’t need to have all the answers—you just need to show up, listen, and walk alongside them at their pace.
Your kindness is more powerful than you know.